Open Ayers Space

Following my last post most of you now realize I have a terrible fear of failure and letting others down. Once I was able to write that, post it and put it out to the world I decided that I do not want to let that hold me back from life. I have a super sociable husband that LOVES meeting new people (honestly I always sit back and wonder how he does it!) I always feel like I scare everyone away or I seem too recluse for them.. I've been called a hermit a few times and I'm beginning to own it! Earlier this week I did the unthinkable and found a way to put myself out to the world. I'm sure if you follow my Facebook or Instagram you have figured this out (and currently at my follower count that's the only way you got to this blog). I want to grow as a person, inspire others and create a healthy lifestyle for J and I to continue for years to come. Am I scared? Hell yeah! Am I gonna hear NO repeatedly... Most likely... Will these teach me a lot about rejection? That would b...

Lately I have caught myself being so caught up within this social media bubble. It keeps me up at night and stressed throughout the day questioning my abilities as a wife, homemaker, budgeter and employee. I don't have all my shit figured out, my house is covered in stuffing from dog toys and I have clothes piled up in laundry baskets. I love washing and drying clothes but I hate folding them... obviously you can tell I never worked in retail. I'm always terrified to try new recipes for the fear of ruining it or having something taste absolutely disgusting. I avoid interacting with new people for the simple fact that I rarely think out the words that leave my mouth and fear that I offend people without truly meaning to. I have breakdowns that I can't explain nor get to the bottom of. I feel at home deep in the woods waiting for a deer to cross my path and put meat in the freezer for my family. Snuggling my pups at home while they soothe my soul and put me at peace. Finding ...

To say life has been crazy would be the understatement of the century! We had tons of family and friends in from all over the country (shoutout to my awesome friends in from Alaska!) Honestly enjoying my time with them and celebrating a beautiful wedding to my best friend truly took up a majority of time. A few days into the trip we all realized we didn't really take a ton of pictures because we were so caught in the moments together. Now that the wedding has passed and everyone has gone home we've spent tons of time cleaning house and getting back to our true love of hunting. J's favorite wedding gifts would of course have to be his meat grinder and sausage stuffer attachments for the kitchen aid! Not only that I've had to get back into the swing of working and let me say that has just been fun.  Now I'm being brutally honest with myself when I type this and honestly it could come back and bite me in the ass but here goes.... Am I happy?  With my marria...

What do you do when you are nine days away from your wedding and you cannot control the constant panic you feel?   No need for worry there are no cold feet here but my issue is my communication.   How may that be an issue when I love to talk all of my family and friends know that I love to speak my mind.   Communication is an issue when you love to talk, have great ideas swirling in your head yet you have no clue how to tell everyone.   My biggest fear is the day will look nowhere close to where my perfectionist brain has it all planned in my head.   I want the twinkle lights hanging perfectly over the reception area, the DJ mixing the perfect mix of fast and slow songs, our friends to be smiling and laughing so much that we never want the night to end, the perfect glimmer off of the golden babies breath in the centers of the tables.   I want the lawn games to bring about fun rivalries and bring together new friends.    I want...